Our Relationship

Mr & Mrs Darling Khan

We recognise relationship as spiritual practice. After all these decades of a potent cocktail of love and hate, seeing and blindness, hurting and healing, we have come to a new ground in the space between us. On this ground, we are discovering the delicate and demanding work of breaking the chains that have bound us to this ancient battle between feminine and masculine inside us, as well as between man and woman.

We believe that the purpose of relationship is to uphold the other's journey of soul, to get behind their freedom and to learn to love them in ways we have never imagined. We recognise that we all bring the broken hearts and unconscious stories of our personal and ancestral pasts into our relationships. We are brilliant at enrolling each other in our tragedies and dramas and in what we call the ‘shadow marriage.’

It is our experience, that with intention, great courage, a lot of humour and the greatest medicine of all, time together, we can learn to truly see, hear, connect with and honour the ones we are and the ones we are with. In doing this, we invoke the ancient alchemy where 1 + 1, far from equalling a compromised and passionless collusion with each others limitations, becomes a virtuous spiral that leads us into an ever more generous, regenerative and deepening love that seemingly, has no end.


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A postcard from my learning edge (by SDK)
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The only people we would trust to help us with our relationship would be people who have worked deeply as a couple on their own relationship, and made significant progress in many of the areas that hold relationships up. We can say unequivocally that Ya'Acov and Susannah Darling Khan are such a couple. We have known them for over 15 years and have witnessed them facing down the thorny difficulties that all relationships can face and getting through them. They embrace the relationship path as a vehicle for greater awareness and love, and it is beautiful to see. They are walking the walk and employ a variety of effective ways to help people improve their relationships. "
- Dr. Eva Chapman and Professor Jake Chapman